A man once said that if you aren't married, you are single. Meaning, the rules that apply to marriage don't apply to you and your "wifey/hubby"s relationship. Yeah, I know, ya'll been together for two years and you can't stand the thought of him being with another woman. I know, I know. I get the fact that she was the first one to make you fall in love. Trust me, I feel you. I've been on BOTH ends of the spectrum. I understand what it means to be cheated on, and how it feels to be the CHEATER. That brings me to what I feel needs to be said. WE COULD SAVE OURSELVES A WHOLE LOT OF PAIN IF WE APPROACHED RELATIONSHIPS DIFFERENTLY.
She was with a man for four years. They treated the relationship as if it was the end for them. Forever was happening now. They promised each other the world, at the tender age of 18. But were they fully capable of following through? NO.. they weren't. She didn't even know herself well enough to be able to promise to him that she would be the WOMAN he needed. So time went on, and they used love as our weapon. Love was the reason he shouldn't do this, and love is the reason she shouldn't say this. Although their intentions were right, they forgot to remember that {1} they weren't married {2} they were babies in comparison to what real men/women do {3} people make MISTAKES.
So, he cheated EMOTIONALLY. And she cheated PHYSICALLY. Were they both stupid? Uh, yeah! Did they mean each other harm? Of course not. Were either of them mature enough to handle approaching it like a married couple? I don't think so. So look at them now.
They don't trust each other, they are emotional wrecks, they feel like the whole world has came crashing down on their heads because their "spouse" broke the rules. WHAT RULES?!
We elude ourselves to believe that if we approach our relationships as if we jumped the broom, we've automatically laid the foundation for a perfect relationship. WRONG.
It's okay to be hurt, it's okay to cry. It's okay to wonder if that person is really the one for you. But it's not alright to let that hurt make you feel like "VOWS" had been broken when no vows had been made before God. If he cheats, analyze whether it was vindictive or not. If she cheats, what led her to do it. If you decide to stick it out, LEARN FROM IT, ACCEPT IT, FORGIVE, AND COMMUNICATE. There's no need to make them suffer; there's no need to throw it in their face. Neither is Christ-like. And if it isn't worth saving, MOVE ON and let the pain go...
No comments:
Post a Comment