Eight Letters

Say it with your actions

Saying those words to me
Doesn't mean a thing to me
I don't wanna hear them
Baby you can keep those three
You might as well not even speak

[Chorus]
Many different times before
You were almost out the door
Then you'd say it
And I'd forget everything
Well I'm sorry to report
That's not working anymore
Now I need to see if that's really what you mean
No more "I'm sorry"
"I love you"
I need proof
Baby boy it's all in what you do
(no more)I love you
If it's true baby boy
It's all in what you do

Say it with your actions
Say it in the way you touch
And the things that you do for us
I don't wanna be mean
But when it comes to this love
Saying it ain't enough

[chorus]

It's in what you
It's it's in what you do
It's in what you
It's all in what you do

No more "I'm sorry"
"I love you"
I need proof
Baby boy it's all in what you do
(no more)I love you
(baby) If it's true baby boy
It's all in what you do

It's in what you
It's it's in what you do
It's in what you
It's all in what you do

How many fights has "I love you" solved in your relationships?

He forgot to call:

"Baby, I'm sorry, I love you"

He forgot your birthday:

"Baby, it slipped my mind, I love you"

He called you a bitch:

"Baby, I didn't mean it, I love you"

He hurt your feelings:

"Baby, you know how much I care about your feelings and how much I love you"

And you fell for it.

Girl, I've been there before, but what ever happened to

"ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS"??

According to my significant other " saying I LOVE YOU is a cop out when a male or female knows that they have done some shit wrong"

Not really sure if he's a reputable source, because truth be told, he's "copped out" more than once.

But that's personal, stay out my business. {LOL}

My point is...

When are people going to stop using those words as ways to fix every problem in their relationships.

Love is a complex emotion. For some it is a term that goes beyond the heart, but it comes from their souls. For others, "love" may be impersonal. He could say he loves you just like he loves to sleep in on Saturdays. Others may confuse "lust" with "love". And for those that have that fairy tale dream in their head, hearing those words for the first time means EVERYTHING to them. And then there are the few that are in love with the THOUGHT of love.

But did that person's "love" change how you felt about them?

Did the fact that he said "I love you" make the pain disappear.

Did those words make him call more, or kiss you more or respect you more?

Did he make up for the reason you were gonna leave with those three little words?

In my experiences, it doesn't.

So bottom line

" BULLSHIT" HAS THE SAME AMOUNT OF LETTERS AS "I LOVE YOU"

Private Investigating @ Home

It's two am and his dam phone is ringing off the hook, and he hasn't moved one bit.

You shake him, but he's out cold.

"Now who in the hell is callin' him this late", you ask yourself.

Then here comes that voice, "Giiirrrlll, that's that nigga's sideline ho, you need to answer it".

You shake your head, trying to rid yourself of that thought. But it begins to burn in the back of your head like a blazing fire... What do you do?

Scenario A:

You pick up the phone! Shood, its booty call hours and the only thing open at that time of night is someone's legs. You take the phone in the bathroom, so he doesn't hear you, and you check the messages, because you missed the call. And its some girl. Nothing too incriminating, but it still doesn't rub you the right way.

So weeks go by and you keep it up. You read his emails, his texts, you analyze his call log, all the while, you are slowly losing your mind.

Is that any way to live?

Scenario B:

You roll over, and go back to sleep.

The next day, you say, "Yeah, so your phone was ringing off the hook last night"

"Oh really, lemme check it, prolly was just my homie JDub"

You watch his face to see if there is event he slightest change in his expression. You see none.

But you're still suspicious. So you ask to see his phone.

"Whatchu wanna see my phone for? I aint got shit to hide."

But he doesn't hand it over. And you then begin to doubt that he is even telling you the truth about anything.

Scenario C:

You roll over, and go back to sleep.

You don't let it get to you. You simply tell him the next day that there are to be no phone calls after ten in respect for you and your relationship with him.

He complies. And you both live happily ever after...if you believe in that sort of thing..

Now many women would ask, what's wrong with scenario a and b? You were SNOOPING! Let a recovering snooper try to shed some light on the topic. Let's analyze it.

(1) You are too blessed to be stressed over what your man is or isn't doing. If he's cheating, he's gonna cheat. And trust, it will come to your attention, one way or another.

(2) What ever happened to personal privacy? I know it's tempting to read his diary, or check his emails, or take a peek at those texts, but isn't he allowed to have SOME privacy?

(3) Has he given you any reason to not trust him? Has he rushed off the phone, or avoided your calls? I mean honestly, did he even answer the phone any other night that late? Probably not, and if he has, why are you still with him again? Yeah.. that's what I thought

(4) You're the only one losing any sleep over it. You're the only one running around the house cursing under your breath, trying to calm yourself down in preparation for a fight with an imaginary chick (because you don't have any concrete proof "she" is who you think she is) while everyone else is living their lives..

(5) Are you really prepared for what you might find? What if in fact you find out that there is someone else? Whether its just a text from a girl that likes him, or he is in fact involved with someone else, are you emotionally equipped to handle it? Or maybe he has some strange fetish you had no idea he had. You ready?

(6) There is not one thing in the relationship that makes what your doing alright. Just because you moved in together, been together 15 years, have children together, or told each you love each other doesn't mean that it's okay to look through that man's things..

(7) Snooping only adds problems to existing problems and or creates new ones. Looking through his things does not make the relationship more meaningful or more serious. It may, in fact, end the relationship. No man wants an insecure woman.

(8) It shows what type of "lady" you are. Even if you are insecure, don't come off that way. No matter what, your man needs to know that you are secure in who you are and the relationship you are trying to build with him. Shood, women, we are the BEST actresses..

(9) You snooped because you can't trust him, but snooping shows that YOU can't be trusted. Enough said.

(10) Once you go down that road..you can't go back.

liar.. Deceiver.. CHEATER!!!

A man once said that if you aren't married, you are single. Meaning, the rules that apply to marriage don't apply to you and your "wifey/hubby"s relationship. Yeah, I know, ya'll been together for two years and you can't stand the thought of him being with another woman. I know, I know. I get the fact that she was the first one to make you fall in love. Trust me, I feel you. I've been on BOTH ends of the spectrum. I understand what it means to be cheated on, and how it feels to be the CHEATER. That brings me to what I feel needs to be said. WE COULD SAVE OURSELVES A WHOLE LOT OF PAIN IF WE APPROACHED RELATIONSHIPS DIFFERENTLY.

She was with a man for four years. They treated the relationship as if it was the end for them. Forever was happening now. They promised each other the world, at the tender age of 18. But were they fully capable of following through? NO.. they weren't. She didn't even know herself well enough to be able to promise to him that she would be the WOMAN he needed. So time went on, and they used love as our weapon. Love was the reason he shouldn't do this, and love is the reason she shouldn't say this. Although their intentions were right, they forgot to remember that {1} they weren't married {2} they were babies in comparison to what real men/women do {3} people make MISTAKES.

So, he cheated EMOTIONALLY. And she cheated PHYSICALLY. Were they both stupid? Uh, yeah! Did they mean each other harm? Of course not. Were either of them mature enough to handle approaching it like a married couple? I don't think so. So look at them now.

They don't trust each other, they are emotional wrecks, they feel like the whole world has came crashing down on their heads because their "spouse" broke the rules. WHAT RULES?!

We elude ourselves to believe that if we approach our relationships as if we jumped the broom, we've automatically laid the foundation for a perfect relationship. WRONG.

It's okay to be hurt, it's okay to cry. It's okay to wonder if that person is really the one for you. But it's not alright to let that hurt make you feel like "VOWS" had been broken when no vows had been made before God. If he cheats, analyze whether it was vindictive or not. If she cheats, what led her to do it. If you decide to stick it out, LEARN FROM IT, ACCEPT IT, FORGIVE, AND COMMUNICATE. There's no need to make them suffer; there's no need to throw it in their face. Neither is Christ-like. And if it isn't worth saving, MOVE ON and let the pain go...

Back @ iT!!

Your Girl is Back...

I know you really missed me

All you people out there in cyberspace

Well, it's time for my no nonsense banter

Stay tuned..