Eight Letters

Say it with your actions

Saying those words to me
Doesn't mean a thing to me
I don't wanna hear them
Baby you can keep those three
You might as well not even speak

[Chorus]
Many different times before
You were almost out the door
Then you'd say it
And I'd forget everything
Well I'm sorry to report
That's not working anymore
Now I need to see if that's really what you mean
No more "I'm sorry"
"I love you"
I need proof
Baby boy it's all in what you do
(no more)I love you
If it's true baby boy
It's all in what you do

Say it with your actions
Say it in the way you touch
And the things that you do for us
I don't wanna be mean
But when it comes to this love
Saying it ain't enough

[chorus]

It's in what you
It's it's in what you do
It's in what you
It's all in what you do

No more "I'm sorry"
"I love you"
I need proof
Baby boy it's all in what you do
(no more)I love you
(baby) If it's true baby boy
It's all in what you do

It's in what you
It's it's in what you do
It's in what you
It's all in what you do

How many fights has "I love you" solved in your relationships?

He forgot to call:

"Baby, I'm sorry, I love you"

He forgot your birthday:

"Baby, it slipped my mind, I love you"

He called you a bitch:

"Baby, I didn't mean it, I love you"

He hurt your feelings:

"Baby, you know how much I care about your feelings and how much I love you"

And you fell for it.

Girl, I've been there before, but what ever happened to

"ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS"??

According to my significant other " saying I LOVE YOU is a cop out when a male or female knows that they have done some shit wrong"

Not really sure if he's a reputable source, because truth be told, he's "copped out" more than once.

But that's personal, stay out my business. {LOL}

My point is...

When are people going to stop using those words as ways to fix every problem in their relationships.

Love is a complex emotion. For some it is a term that goes beyond the heart, but it comes from their souls. For others, "love" may be impersonal. He could say he loves you just like he loves to sleep in on Saturdays. Others may confuse "lust" with "love". And for those that have that fairy tale dream in their head, hearing those words for the first time means EVERYTHING to them. And then there are the few that are in love with the THOUGHT of love.

But did that person's "love" change how you felt about them?

Did the fact that he said "I love you" make the pain disappear.

Did those words make him call more, or kiss you more or respect you more?

Did he make up for the reason you were gonna leave with those three little words?

In my experiences, it doesn't.

So bottom line

" BULLSHIT" HAS THE SAME AMOUNT OF LETTERS AS "I LOVE YOU"

Private Investigating @ Home

It's two am and his dam phone is ringing off the hook, and he hasn't moved one bit.

You shake him, but he's out cold.

"Now who in the hell is callin' him this late", you ask yourself.

Then here comes that voice, "Giiirrrlll, that's that nigga's sideline ho, you need to answer it".

You shake your head, trying to rid yourself of that thought. But it begins to burn in the back of your head like a blazing fire... What do you do?

Scenario A:

You pick up the phone! Shood, its booty call hours and the only thing open at that time of night is someone's legs. You take the phone in the bathroom, so he doesn't hear you, and you check the messages, because you missed the call. And its some girl. Nothing too incriminating, but it still doesn't rub you the right way.

So weeks go by and you keep it up. You read his emails, his texts, you analyze his call log, all the while, you are slowly losing your mind.

Is that any way to live?

Scenario B:

You roll over, and go back to sleep.

The next day, you say, "Yeah, so your phone was ringing off the hook last night"

"Oh really, lemme check it, prolly was just my homie JDub"

You watch his face to see if there is event he slightest change in his expression. You see none.

But you're still suspicious. So you ask to see his phone.

"Whatchu wanna see my phone for? I aint got shit to hide."

But he doesn't hand it over. And you then begin to doubt that he is even telling you the truth about anything.

Scenario C:

You roll over, and go back to sleep.

You don't let it get to you. You simply tell him the next day that there are to be no phone calls after ten in respect for you and your relationship with him.

He complies. And you both live happily ever after...if you believe in that sort of thing..

Now many women would ask, what's wrong with scenario a and b? You were SNOOPING! Let a recovering snooper try to shed some light on the topic. Let's analyze it.

(1) You are too blessed to be stressed over what your man is or isn't doing. If he's cheating, he's gonna cheat. And trust, it will come to your attention, one way or another.

(2) What ever happened to personal privacy? I know it's tempting to read his diary, or check his emails, or take a peek at those texts, but isn't he allowed to have SOME privacy?

(3) Has he given you any reason to not trust him? Has he rushed off the phone, or avoided your calls? I mean honestly, did he even answer the phone any other night that late? Probably not, and if he has, why are you still with him again? Yeah.. that's what I thought

(4) You're the only one losing any sleep over it. You're the only one running around the house cursing under your breath, trying to calm yourself down in preparation for a fight with an imaginary chick (because you don't have any concrete proof "she" is who you think she is) while everyone else is living their lives..

(5) Are you really prepared for what you might find? What if in fact you find out that there is someone else? Whether its just a text from a girl that likes him, or he is in fact involved with someone else, are you emotionally equipped to handle it? Or maybe he has some strange fetish you had no idea he had. You ready?

(6) There is not one thing in the relationship that makes what your doing alright. Just because you moved in together, been together 15 years, have children together, or told each you love each other doesn't mean that it's okay to look through that man's things..

(7) Snooping only adds problems to existing problems and or creates new ones. Looking through his things does not make the relationship more meaningful or more serious. It may, in fact, end the relationship. No man wants an insecure woman.

(8) It shows what type of "lady" you are. Even if you are insecure, don't come off that way. No matter what, your man needs to know that you are secure in who you are and the relationship you are trying to build with him. Shood, women, we are the BEST actresses..

(9) You snooped because you can't trust him, but snooping shows that YOU can't be trusted. Enough said.

(10) Once you go down that road..you can't go back.

liar.. Deceiver.. CHEATER!!!

A man once said that if you aren't married, you are single. Meaning, the rules that apply to marriage don't apply to you and your "wifey/hubby"s relationship. Yeah, I know, ya'll been together for two years and you can't stand the thought of him being with another woman. I know, I know. I get the fact that she was the first one to make you fall in love. Trust me, I feel you. I've been on BOTH ends of the spectrum. I understand what it means to be cheated on, and how it feels to be the CHEATER. That brings me to what I feel needs to be said. WE COULD SAVE OURSELVES A WHOLE LOT OF PAIN IF WE APPROACHED RELATIONSHIPS DIFFERENTLY.

She was with a man for four years. They treated the relationship as if it was the end for them. Forever was happening now. They promised each other the world, at the tender age of 18. But were they fully capable of following through? NO.. they weren't. She didn't even know herself well enough to be able to promise to him that she would be the WOMAN he needed. So time went on, and they used love as our weapon. Love was the reason he shouldn't do this, and love is the reason she shouldn't say this. Although their intentions were right, they forgot to remember that {1} they weren't married {2} they were babies in comparison to what real men/women do {3} people make MISTAKES.

So, he cheated EMOTIONALLY. And she cheated PHYSICALLY. Were they both stupid? Uh, yeah! Did they mean each other harm? Of course not. Were either of them mature enough to handle approaching it like a married couple? I don't think so. So look at them now.

They don't trust each other, they are emotional wrecks, they feel like the whole world has came crashing down on their heads because their "spouse" broke the rules. WHAT RULES?!

We elude ourselves to believe that if we approach our relationships as if we jumped the broom, we've automatically laid the foundation for a perfect relationship. WRONG.

It's okay to be hurt, it's okay to cry. It's okay to wonder if that person is really the one for you. But it's not alright to let that hurt make you feel like "VOWS" had been broken when no vows had been made before God. If he cheats, analyze whether it was vindictive or not. If she cheats, what led her to do it. If you decide to stick it out, LEARN FROM IT, ACCEPT IT, FORGIVE, AND COMMUNICATE. There's no need to make them suffer; there's no need to throw it in their face. Neither is Christ-like. And if it isn't worth saving, MOVE ON and let the pain go...

Back @ iT!!

Your Girl is Back...

I know you really missed me

All you people out there in cyberspace

Well, it's time for my no nonsense banter

Stay tuned..

..::Ode to My King::..

November 19, 2004, we made it official.

We spent every day from that day forth together.

Holding hands, making love, taking walks, watching movies, laughing, smiling.... arguing.

On our good days, I loved to look up into your light brown eyes.

I loved the way you gazed at me and told me you loved me.

When we were in bed, your skin always found its way to mine.

You protected me, and took care of my every need.

I was in love.

But then the arguing changed me.

It changed you.

We were two young people in love, and we couldn't handle the pressure.

I became mean, irate, bitchy...

You became passive, angry, bitter.

We didn't talk the way we used to.

We would stay mad for days.

I didn't know what else to do.

I had to break your heart.

And mine.

I wanted you to fight for me.

I wanted you to tell me that it would all work out.

I wanted you to take my hands and tell me that no matter what,

things would change.

But you didn't.

And I walked away.

That time away did us both some good.

We grew up.

You became a man, I became a woman.

I tried searching for that 20% I thought I needed.

But I never found it.

I wasted my time out there in the field, while you did the same.

Like an epiphany, it hit me.

I needed you again.

I wanted you again.

I had held back the tears long enough, and I let them flow.

I knew then, and I know now that you are the one for me.

We just got lost.

The emotions got in the way.

And our immaturity clouded our vision.

I want you back.

I need you back.

Every song reminds me of you.

Every since we started communicating again....

You give me butterflies,

Got me flying so high in the sky

I can't control the butterflies

You give me something I just can't deny

Something thats so real

I just can't control the way I feel

You got me over here singing to myself daily. Thinking of the house, the car,

MARRIAGE, and 2.5 kids.

No one knows me like you,

No one understands me like you

NO ONE listens to me like you do.

I'm so vulnerable with you.

I have come to understand

the way it is, it's not a secret anymore

Cause we've been through that before

From tonight I know that you're the only one

I've been confused and in the dark, now I understand

I wonder why it is

I don't argue like this

With anyone but you

I wonder why it is

I won't let my guard down

For anyone but you

We do it all the time

Blowing out my mind

So I think I've made it clear to the world (and YOU)

that I'm a true sucka.. for you, that is.

And there shouldn't be any doubt in your mind,

that I'm SYNCIER.

Destroy and Conquer

...Aztecs, Incas, Mayans, Cherokee Indians, Iroquois Indians, Sioux Indians, West Africans, East Africans, South Africans, Persians, etc...

What do each of these nations of people share in common? They were conquered and destroyed. Religions were destroyed, customs were destroyed, LIVES were destroyed. And those who were left behind, were conquered and FORCED to submit to the will of the pale faces.

I recently read the book, Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe. It details the life and customs of a native Nigerian warrior long ago. He lived in a village rich with customs and values. He had three wives, a lot of children, and he would have done anything to protect his village. While participating in a festival, he accidently killed a bystander in a crowd and was exiled from his village for seven years. During those seven years, "things fell apart". A group of pale faced men came into the village and taught the villagers their religion. They discussed how their religion was better than the one currently practiced, and opened a church nearby. Although similarities were found between the two, the pale faces still held their ground. They gathered information about the villagers and were preparing a manuscript about how to take over savages. The missionaries did a good job of disguising their real objectives behind thier Bibles and such, but eventually, when the warrior returned to his old village, he saw their true colors. They set up a government and began to reprimand those who did not obey their rules. They recruited natives from other villages to help enforce their rules. The book ended with the warrior killing himself because his people would not fight the people of that government back, all because their customs never allowed them to wage war on anyone.

This brings me to what sparked me to think of all this. Avatar, a movie recently released, displays all that I discussed today. Throughout our history, pale faces have been going from country to country, seeking resources. When they set their sights on an area that could benefit them, they use tactics to get the natives to trust them. The Mayans, Incas, and Aztecs, thought the pale faces were some sort of gods. The Native Americans and Africans, were mystified and wanted to ride their horses and use their weapons, luxuries that they were accustomed to. The pale faces would introduce their religion, build schools, and act as if they were some sort of saviors. Some tribes fought back, and failed. Others betrayed their own and sold others to the pale faces ( thus the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade). But there was a universal outcome. The pale faces took over. They felt superior and took what they wanted, and would kill in the presence of any resistance. And if you look all over the world, the same is happening now. Name one country that has been occupied by them at one point in history that isn't in turmoil now. Food for thought.

Disclaimer: I use the term pale faces to emphasize the fact that the worlds history has been dominated by one race. In present day, there may be "warriors" of other colors working alongside them, but the same agenda is in place. They rule the world.

STOP Light

What is it about men that keeps women so zoned in that they overlook every red flag these n*ggas put in front of them.? Got a couple of scenarios for you:

The Ghetto Baby Mama:

She meets a guy. He may or may not have a job, but he definitely has a baby mama. She's homely, hasn't had a serious relationship since her baby daddy left her back in '04, and is craving attention. He sweet talks her, notices she has decent credit, so he talks her into getting an apartment with him so she can move out of her mama's house. This is two months into the relationship. Three months in, she gets pregnant. He says ALL the things that she wants to hear. "Girl, we gonna have a family together. Girl, one day you gonna be wifey. Girl I love you." He buys her a cracker jack ring and she's all over it. Six months in, she loses the baby. He doesn't tell anyone that she was even pregnant. Meanwhile, when she's in the hospital alone, he runs a train on a white girl AND a stripper, all in her bed. Good times.. She kicks him out, but lets him stay the night a couple of more times. All the while, complaining about how no good he is, but still she wants him to hold her at night. Whats wrong with this? RED FLAG number one shoulda been the dam baby mama he already had, number two shoulda been the marriage proposal after a couple of months, and number three, the n*gga had sex in YOUR BED..

The Lonely Girl:

She meets a guy in college. Had mind-blowing sex with him cause his dick game was on point. But he was talkin to someone else at the time. She doesn't care cause she was doing her own thing. Years go by, and he occasionally comes by and gives her a little taste, and she begins to catch feelings. He shows up on his time, calls when he is in town, puts it down, then LEAVES. She decides to let him go when she realizes that the feelings aren't mutual. Then he slips into recovery mode. He starts to call a few times more, and then he takes her on a date. He throws the L-word in there, and he figures its a wrap. Uh.. no. But yet, she still answers the phone, knowing that its two in the morning and he wants a piece. Whats the problem with that Kita, you ask? Number one, you've so dick struck that you havent got a chance to get to know him. Number two, you know exactly what he's doing to you and you are LETTING HIM. Hmmm..

The Young Girl:

Fresh outta the jail she calls home. Never had a REAL boyfriend. Just lost her virginity two days before enrolling in college, and doesn't realize her own beauty and worth. She meets a smooth talker. He uses big words and makes her laugh. He tells her that he likes her, but he still has feelings for his ex. He also tells her that he is dealing with the choice between the two. They have great sex, and have fun in the clubs. He dumps her, then he takes her back. He ignores her texts, tells her that they should split before their Xmas break because he can't watch her if she cheats. She constantly asks him if he still loves her. He texts back that it's HER FAULT that he's breaking it off with her cause she wouldn't let him think things over. She's sad and doesnt understand why its over. The issue? Number one, you haven't been out in the real world long enough to know what a relationship should feel like. Number two, he still loves his EX, and he told you from jump! Three, how in the hell is it your fault that he can't make up his mind who he wants to be with?

Ladies, men tell you what to expect from them in the very beginning, with their actions and words. Wake up!

Disclaimer: I'm not perfect, and have made my share of relationship mistakes. My opinions are based on personal experiences and observations. Listen and learn.